Countywide Property Lawyers


You may consider property to be the way to go.

You want to make a purchase soon, but how – you just don’t know

The let us help, We’re CPL, we are the best around!

But best at what? They fail to say. And this is what we found.


They are the best at screwing up, the best at long delays

A job that should take just an hour can be dragged out for days

So if you’re waiting to exchange don’t get your hopes up yet

As CPL will fuck it up, that is a dead cert bet.


But then – in case that’s not enough, a devils deal is made

Incompetents incarnate and the Mickey Mouse Brigade

We do the legal stuff but then our mates sell your house too

It sounds so good you get sucked in – the worst thing you can do.


A one stop shop they like to say, for once I must agree

The process stops and wont restart, now that I guarantee

The agents whine, its not our fault, we bust a gut for you

But fail to say their legal chums just haven’t got a clue


Because you don’t get just one lawyer, you get a whole damn herd

They’ll tell you that makes things go fast. That’s really quite absurd

For no one is responsible, it’s someone elses case

And if you want completion then you’ve come to the wrong place.


They’ll lose your papers, miss your call, forget to file your search

And if you want response from them you’ll end up in the lurch

You pay their bills, they take your cash, they do THAT bit quite well well

But what’s your chance of moving soon? A snowballs chance in hell


And if you want updating you may just pick up the phone

You may expect enlightenment, but you would be alone

His secretary says “he’s out”, you know just what she means

In Legal speak He’s on a course, (with bunkers, holes and greens)


They really do not give a damn about the work they do

The fact your house move seems to matter quite so much to you

If you require conveyancing, it’s clearly cut and dried

The legal firm you should avoid is COUNTRY – FUCKING - WIDE