Countywide Property Lawyers
You may consider property to be the way to go.
You want to make a purchase soon, but how – you just don’t know
The let us help, We’re CPL, we are the best around!
But best at what? They fail to say. And this is what we found.
They are the best at screwing up, the best at long delays
A job that should take just an hour can be dragged out for days
So if you’re waiting to exchange don’t get your hopes up yet
As CPL will fuck it up, that is a dead cert bet.
But then – in case that’s not enough, a devils deal is made
Incompetents incarnate and the Mickey Mouse Brigade
We do the legal stuff but then our mates sell your house too
It sounds so good you get sucked in – the worst thing you can do.
A one stop shop they like to say, for once I must agree
The process stops and wont restart, now that I guarantee
The agents whine, its not our fault, we bust a gut for you
But fail to say their legal chums just haven’t got a clue
Because you don’t get just one lawyer, you get a whole damn herd
They’ll tell you that makes things go fast. That’s really quite absurd
For no one is responsible, it’s someone elses case
And if you want completion then you’ve come to the wrong place.
They’ll lose your papers, miss your call, forget to file your search
And if you want response from them you’ll end up in the lurch
You pay their bills, they take your cash, they do THAT bit quite well well
But what’s your chance of moving soon? A snowballs chance in hell
And if you want updating you may just pick up the phone
You may expect enlightenment, but you would be alone
His secretary says “he’s out”, you know just what she means
In Legal speak He’s on a course, (with bunkers, holes and greens)
They really do not give a damn about the work they do
The fact your house move seems to matter quite so much to you
If you require conveyancing, it’s clearly cut and dried
The legal firm you should avoid is COUNTRY – FUCKING - WIDE
Poetsrevenge.com 2009
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